Dear 12 year old Stephanie

Your life is just about to start.  You don't know it yet, but you've already made a friend that you're going to keep for at least the next 15 years but I'm betting on forever. You're friends through another friend right now, but you'll soon realize that you two are made to be besties. 

You're about to start junior high and boy are you in for a wild ride.  You're going to love it for the good times but remember to let people see you for who you are.  Rock those bell bottom jeans and white eyeliner while you still can and I promise one day you'll learn how to use a blowdryer.

You're going to learn a lot from your church group. You'll look back on those lessons and the way they shaped you even when you go another direction. They'll help you define who you want to be and the values you learn will always be a part of you. 

You'll make another forever friend around the end of junior high. You'll bond over country music and the Little Mermaid but she will always be there for you. You'll be more alike than you understand right now and she'll always keep you grounded.

Your relationship with your dad is going to be tough for a few years, but after a close call you'll start to see just how much he really means to you. It'll be another ten years or so, but you'll start to notice all the things he did for you and how alike you really are.

High school will bring opportunities to branch out and meet new people.  You'll meet another friend who will join your group by happenstance but once she's there, you'll never be able to live without her.  She'll love you for you and never judge.

It won't all be easy.  You'll find your heart broken too much and your feelings hurt too often.  Girls will be girls and you'll lose friends and never be quite sure why.  Don't let those bad dates get you down too much.  It gets better.

You'll go through a trashy, experimental phase but you know what, it's a good thing.  It'll be fun and you'll learn a lot about yourself from it.  You'll learn the difference between love and lust and it's not going to hurt you to put yourself out there.

The man you fall for is going to scare the hell out of your friends and family.  Believe in him.  He'll grow with you and his past will have shaped him into a better man. You'll be truly loved by his family and the way he treats them will show you how great of a partner he will be.

Spend money on experiences instead of possessions. They'll be the things you'll remember the longest. Let your nerdy side out a little and don't be afraid to feel beautiful.

Seven things I just can't get enough of right now.

1. Uptown Funk.  That Mark Ronson/Bruno Mars combo sure knows how to get a girl singing from morning to night, don't they? Hot damn!

2. Raising My Rainbow. This is a blog written by a mother about her gender non-conforming son. I just love it because I know kids like this and it's refreshing to see a family who has been willing to change the way that they do things to make life comfortable for their son.  It's not for everyone, but I truly am grateful to have found it.

3. The weather. It was an amazing 67 degrees yesterday. In Utah. In February. This has been the most unseasonably warm winter that I can recall, but I'm definitely appreciating it while we have it.  It's probably going to snow in June and believe me, I'll be upset, and you'll hear about it, but I'm loving the sun now.

4. Eff Your Beauty Standards is a movement started by plus size model Tess Munster that's all about body positivity and loving the skin you're in.  I may not look like what the fashion industry calls beauty.  I may not be able to walk into any store and find something that's going to look good on me. I have extra weight hanging on to just about everywhere on my body but curves are beautiful too. I'm not saying that I don't want to be stronger and healthier, but I'm going to love myself along they way. Confidence is key and I'm learning all about that.

5. Harry Potter.  (Is this shocking to anyone?) I've always been a fan but I feel like as I've gotten older, my fan girl side has really emerged victorious. This story shaped my life and it's even better as an adult.  My niece gave me a henna deathly hallows tattoo last night.   I'm just too damn cool for my own good.

6. Baby stuff.  I'm not pregnant.  I'm not even sure I'm ready to be, but how do you know? Above all else I've always wanted to be a mother. I thought it would happen much earlier in my life, but life got in the way.  It just wasn't time. There is too much cute baby stuff around.  It tugs at your ovaries. I went to a baby shower for my friend's sister yesterday and all I could think was, "Is it my turn?"  Ugh.

7. Nail tutorials. I got a manicure a couple weeks ago and was too cheap to do shellac and it got all scuffed up in like three days.  I was so mad that I had spent money on it, when it would have probably stayed longer if I had done it myself. Since then, I've been on a mission to have cute nails for the low low cost of free.