Sunday, December 16, 2012

Tattooed hottie...almost...

Have you ever had an experience where your body and your brain just don't agree?

I've been wanting a tattoo for a long, long time. I've been deciding what I want forever and I have a whole Pinterest board devoted to it. I finally decided and picked the size and coloring. I had talked to that part of my conscience that thinks it is wrong and had told her to shove it. I even warned my BFF so it wouldn't come as a surprise.

Yesterday was the day. I got up and got ready and was really excited for it. The husband and I drove out to a very reputable place where we had seen some good work come out of. I was getting a little anxious on the drive but was mostly excited.

We pulled up to the place and parked right in front. All of a sudden, I was terrified. Tears started pouring out of my eyes and I couldn't get out of the car. I couldn't explain why. I want a tattoo. I don't think the pain will be too excruciating. I just couldn't make myself do it. I feel like the girl who cried wolf. I will get one. I just have to figure out what is making me such a baby.

Momma me? Eh?

Is it just me or is everyone and their sister having babies? Holding sleeping ones and cute pictures on Pinterest make me think I am ready to dive in head first and do it. Then the sleeping baby starts screaming and my inbox gets flooded with articles about diaper blowouts and reconstructive surgery to get moms to stop peeing every time they sneeze and I can't help but wade back into the shallows of unsurity.

We have always said that we want to be in a place of our own before we board the baby train, but my in-laws are leaving for a mission in April and its just so easy to stay there. I don't really want to, but I think everyone just assumes we will. It's free though, so maybe we should.

The thought of raising babies terrifies me, but it is all I have ever wanted my whole life. I know it will be the hardest and most rewarding thing I will ever do.